everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well I just put wine in my tea
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
