Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I'm both gender and math confused
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
