come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
