It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
