I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
