Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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