I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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