You really coming over, don't trick.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
