now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
