I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Randomize
