Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
