totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
