Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
