I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
