she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
