OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
