Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
