You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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