i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
