Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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