My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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