ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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