just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
And then he peed in my hair
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