Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize