he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
