i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
