My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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