hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
