That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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