What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Randomize
