It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
