I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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