it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
