Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
