I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
