i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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