Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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