he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
