She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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