i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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