East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
