oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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