i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
