bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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