Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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