no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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