uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
