I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Randomize
