How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You are the jesus of drinking
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
