there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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