it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Where is the hickey?
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
