remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Congratulations! We have a period
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
