one two three fourrrrnication!
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
