she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
